


Grapefruit peels and doughnut crumbs

by Donya



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-29 00:46:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/998862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donya/pseuds/Donya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki disappears without a word. Tony realises how important Loki is for him and worries he has lost him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grapefruit peels and doughnut crumbs

It's been three days. Three agonisingly long days and three lonely nights. It felt like withering, Tony never felt this weak and anxious before. At first he was actually glad Loki disappeared, finally no one interrupted him in the workshop, no one touched his back with cold feet at the crack of dawn, no one made a mess in the bathroom. It was like letting the air in their relationship. It was good. 

Day two. Tony thought that it was enough air. He went into the bathroom, no damp towels scattered on the floor, no heavily scented steam, no Loki. The kitchen was empty, too, no doughnut crumbs, no half-full mugs of cold coffee, no grapefruit peels left on the table. Nothing to be annoyed about. Strange. He almost forgot how it was before Loki. How much easier.

He thought he heard Loki. Without his knowing, he picked up a habit of looking around, hoping he would see Loki. A terrifying thought came to his mind. What if Loki was not coming back. What if he was wounded, taken hostage, waiting to be rescued. What if he was already dead. Dead. Tony hardly remembered their last words, it was something casual, Tony had no idea it could have been the last time, he left without a kiss, didn't look back, so certain Loki would always be there. That's the thing- we never expect the end. Now he thought he should have embraced Loki tightly. Then: no, no, it was stupid, Loki was fine, stupid Tony worrying too much. The mixture of those two thoughts kept him awake the whole night. The bed was so empty. Nobody stole his pillow or the duvet, nobody snored, nobody started talking to him when he was about to fall asleep and that was awful.

The third morning was a nightmare. Tony alarmed Thor, Bruce and Steve, it only angered him because they could not care less. 'He's fine, even if he's gone, he'd doing you a favour.' Oh. Thanks for _nothing_. Tony forced himself to get up. He hated the clean bathroom, hated the clean floor and the lack of the fucking steam, he could actually see his reflection in the mirror first time in ages- he didn't recognise the anxious man he saw there. He hated the clean kitchen, where were the doughnut crumbs, the half-empty mugs Loki left everywhere, the grapefruit peels, where were the signs of Loki, where was he? Tony started brewing coffee but then realised he didn't want to drink or eat anything. Where was Loki? He couldn't focus on anything else. What was the point of anything if Loki wasn't going to come back?

As the day progressed, Tony found himself thinking that the only thing he actually wanted was to get his hands on Loki, hug him till his ribs broke, keep him close. Every noise, everything that caught his eye, that could be Loki. He would always turn his head, hoping so desperately that he would see his god but it never was him. He recalled all those moments when he let Loki keep his distance, all those times when he would close his arms around Loki and did not. He regretted being rational and leaving their bed, sneaking out at night to finish something in the lab, while he could nuzzle at Loki's neck, listen to his heartbeat, press soft kisses to his forehead. Now he would do anything to touch Loki, feel the smooth skin under his fingers, look into those green eyes and say: don't go. 

Loki might be injured. Tony put on the suit and started searching for him, without any plan and also, without hope. Zero chance Loki was still in NY, more likely he was in one of those fucking realms, somewhere beyond Tony's reach. Perhaps that was the point. After a few hours, Tony returned to the Tower. Loki might be waiting for him. Jarvis told him otherwise. It was a physical pain. A heavy weight on his chest. Was he failing Loki? Was Loki crying somewhere, calling out his name and he did not hear it? The rush of adrenaline didn't let Tony stay in one spot for more than a couple of minutes. His mind created one terrifying scenario after another. Loki was dead. He was dead and Tony didn't say goodbye. It was hopeless, wasn't it. His hands shook when he poured himself a drink to calm his nerves. Fucking Loki. If only could turn back time. He did everything he could and still Loki was not there.

It was well past midnight when Tony finally headed to the bedroom. It was unbearable, the fear and anxiety, the feeling he was wasting time, looking in the wrong places. He opened the door and- there he was. Loki. Loki was sitting on the bed. Watching him without a single word of apology. Tony froze, unable to move or think. He just stood there, his eyes fixed on Loki, as if that could keep Loki from disappearing again. Tony took a deep breath and felt tears rolling down his cheeks. A crushing relief filled him, he felt the urge to scream, fall to his knees and weep. Earlier, he imagined he would grab Loki and lock him in a tight embrace but now, now he was just staring at him. Demanding an explanation, making a scene, telling him how hellish those days were, it all could wait. His heart finally slowed down, the tension leaving his body. Tony went to the bathroom, closed the door, washed his face with cold water to cool down and gather his thoughts. It was ok now, he knew Loki was behind the door and that was enough.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Based on: PÂTÉ, YOU FUCKING CAT GONE MISSING FOR THE WHOLE DAY I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOUR CORPSE ON THE RAILROAD TRACKS AND THEN FOUND YOU IN THE BASEMENT SLEEPING ON THE OLD DUVET, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE PUT ME THROUGH AND NO, YOU'RE NOT GOING OUTSIDE EVER FUCKING AGAIN.
> 
> PASZTECIK IS NOW OFFICIALLY PARDONED, AS SHE SLEPT IN MY ARMS THE WHOLE NIGHT AND PURRED LOUDLY. I LOVE MY KITTY CAT.


End file.
